


Of Soulmates and Thongs

by orphan_account



Series: Rp's i have turned into fanfiction. [1]
Category: 2P Hetalia - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, Human AU, Is there really such a thing as using too many tags, It's probably going to turn into porn, Remus being scared of planes, Scarface the goldfish, So many AUs, Soulmate AU, Soulmates, That's a lie, a very brave and vicious goldfish, also both are veterinarians, also its set in the united states because i know nothing about grocery stores and shit elsewhere, but we modified it, dicks being drawn on faces, idk we made shit up and went with it, im not sorry, im sorry, it begins in a grocery store just fyi, just ask remus he will confirm this fact, like seriously wolves would not stand a chance against her, oh yeah i almost forgot its also a college au, probably not, so it only starts working when you make a key decision that might lead you to your soulmate, so many, soulmate, that one au where everything you write on your skin shows up on your soulmates skin in the same spot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-07-22 15:51:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7444948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This started out as an RP I was doing with my friend Kat and we decided it had potential, so I turned the rp into a fanfic.<br/>Knowing me, it will probably have porn by the end of it.<br/>most of an actual summary is in the tags lmao</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Soulmates and Thongs

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this started when Kat and I were rping and felt like rping a soulmate au, and i decided that the rp had potential as a fanfic, so i was like fuck it and wrote this shit.  
> This was Beta Read by my best friend, Racquel, so blame her if i made any mistakes lmao  
> ALSO: constructive criticism is welcome. :)

Remus pulled into the walmart parking lot and moved the brochures for Lake Michigan, where he had decided he would go during summer break, since a plane ticket to somewhere more fun would cost more than he had, what with student loans, from his lap into the passenger seat. 

He rummaged around in the glove compartment to find something to write his grocery list on before he forgot what he needed. "Fucking shit." he muttered. Coming up without any paper, he picked up his sharpie and began writing the list out on his arm before heading into the store.

Remus looked down at his forearm to check his list when he entered the frozen food aisle to see all the i’s in his list of groceries now dotted with red hearts. "WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK." he screeched, and got a glare from the elderly woman farther down the aisle. He pulled out his plain black sharpie again and drew a big fat question mark, followed by the words  **'Could you not? I have a reputation as a badass to uphold. if you're gonna draw, draw something other than hearts please.'**

He moved on to the dairy section to nab some milk after seeing the word “sure” appear on his knuckles, receiving a few glares from other patrons, although he couldn’t understand why.

He closed the glass door after he retrieved a gallon of milk and caught a glimpse of his reflection in the glass. He froze, staring at his cheek. "Seriously?" he whispered to himself. His soulmate had drawn a dick on their cheek. At least he knew why he had been glared at. He reached into his wallet and pulled out a bunch of bandaids and put them on over his soulmate’s “art” before writing his response on his wrist.  **'Excuse you, soulmate, but I’m in a grocery store, could you please limit the dick pics?'**

**'Tits are better, right soulmate? :)’** soon appeared on the back of his left hand, along with some more “art” on his knuckles. Remus stared at his knuckles where his soulmate had drawn a pair of breasts for a moment before putting on more bandaids.  **'please there are children here'**

**'I'm sorry, this is what happens when I run out of sweets, I turn into a perv.'** appeared in the palm of his left hand.

Remus chuckles before walking up toward checkout. **'Remind me to take your sweets when we meet then ;)'** he wrote near the crook of his elbow

**'Wow, you do that I'll shave your head, unless you’re bald, then I’ll figure out something else to do to you.'** appeared on his upper left arm.

He snickers.  **'Like castrate me?'** he wrote on the side of his hand.  **'Yes.'** was all that appeared below his joking suggestion. Remus shivered before paying the cashier and heading out the store.

He outright giggled when an idea struck him after loading his groceries into the trunk of his car he got in and lifted his shirt to write on his stomach. He quickly drew an arrow pointing up to his chest before writing **'I'm hoping there are tits here because I don't really dig guys.'** he added smiley face for good measure before leaning back to await his response.

He giggled when he saw his chest. **'here these good for ya? DD.'** had appeared just above his arrow and now she had drawn, or more likely traced breasts on their chests.

**'Nice art.'** he wrote just below her drawing. **'What's your hair color? Mine's auburn.'** he wrote in the palm of his right hand before beginning the drive back to his apartment.

**'Dark brown, with hints of red, only because of my dad was a redhead. It doesn't show much though.'** Had appeared oh his right forearm by the time he pulled into the parking lot for his apartment building.

Remus hurried up to his apartment with the groceries and shoved them all in the fridge before replying. **'And does my match have a name?'** was soon written on the back of his right hand.  **'Rosaria.'** appears beneath his question along with the words  **'does mine?'**

**'Remus.'** he writes quickly, tearing off his shirt, and kicking off his shorts and sandals before flopping on the couch. **'Remember it, it's the name you'll be groaning in annoyance when we finally meet.'** was added beneath his name on his left wrist.

**'Nice to know, Remus'** shows up on his side.  **'Yo, Boo Bear, what’s your favorite kind of sweet?'** is seen below it.  **'Chocolate anything'** he wrote on his right leg. **'but I have a weakness for chocolate eclairs.'**

**'Ok then, thanks for the know.'** was written just above his knee when he looked for a response.  **'How old are you? I’m 26'** he wrote on his left ankle.  **'27, and you made me fully undress so see what your wrote. I'm standing around in a thong in my kitchen cooking.'** showed up on his other side.

**'Wow we match then.'** remus wrote on his left leg, grinning.  **'You're wearing a thong while cooking?'** appears in red below his remark. He outright giggles.  **'Nah I meant we're both wearing nothing but a thong.... Mine's pink and silky.'** he wrote on the top of his right thigh, smiling.

**'Wow mine is black with red lace patterns, you should check it out sometime.'** was written near the crook of his right elbow. Remus chuckled.  **'So do you have any pets?'** he scribbled onto his right calf.  **'Yeah I have several dogs. You?'** appeared below his question. He smiles.  **'I have a vicious and mean pet named Scarface.'** He wrote on his left inner thigh.

**'Wow what kind of pet?'** was on his forehead when he used his phone’s camera to check. Remus cackles.  **'She's a goldfish.'** he writes across his collarbone.  **'Wow she must be VERY vicious and mean, mine could just eat her.'** appeared across his left knee.

He narrowed his eyes at his knee. **'Excuse you my princess is badass your dog wouldn't stand a chance.'** he wrote on his left thigh.  **'Oh yeah your fish won't stand a chance against the forces of air! And being out of WATER.'** appears on his upper right arm with a little smirking devil drawn next to it. He gasps. **'You. Wouldn't. Dare.'** he writes on his right ankle.

**'I wouldn't. I love animals too much'** shows up on the bottom of his right foot. He huffed before writing on his right inner thigh **'You better not. Scarface is my closest friend. Also, we're running out of space to write.'**

**'Yeah we kinda are.'** Her reply appeared above his writing on his right inner thigh **'And anyway, I would never hurt an animal. I don't have a pack of dogs running around my house for no reason. I like to take care of them'** Remus giggled as wrote his response on his lower stomach. **'So, do you maybe have a phone number or address? I'd like to check out that red and black thong you were talking about ;)'**

**'I'd rather get yours and then throw it at your face but here (insert a phone number here)'** appears on the top of his left foot. Remus finally caps his marker and picks up his phone dialing the number she gave him.

A woman picks up the phone. "Hello?" 

 

"Yes hi hello. Shitfuck I'm nervous now and I don't know why." he babbled.

 

Rosaria softly laughs. "Well, it is nice to talk to you."

 

Remus chuckles awkwardly before replying "i wasn't kidding about me wearing a pink thong right now, oh shit I didn't mean to say that your voice is just so pleasant and it's making me nervous oh shit didn't mean to say that either open foot insert mouth, I mean open mouth insert foot"

 

"Wait, you are really wearing a thong?" His soulmate laughs. "Your babbling is amusing."

 

Remus smiled a bit. "It is?"

 

"Yes."

 

He grinned. "So where do you live, Rosie?"

 

She snickers "Not telling, Remus."

 

He chuckles. "I mean what country or State. I'm currently in Arizona."

 

Rosaria sounds surprised when she reponds. "Arizona? Wow, I’m all the way up in Michigan."

 

Remus grins. "Then I suppose its good that I'm going up there this summer after I finish this last year and get my veterinary license."

 

"Really? Veterinarian? So my soulmate’s going to be one too." She chuckles. "I'm a vet. I work with wild animals though."

 

He smiled. "I’m going to specialize in exotic pets. Like parrots and snakes and the like."

 

"Ahh I see, mainly coyotes, deer, and the occasional wolf for me." she laughs lightly.

 

"So, yeah I'll be there in a few weeks at most." he smiles.

 

"Nice, then I'll throw my thong at you when we meet." She laughs, and he outright grins.

 

"I’m so glad you’re funny." Remus replied laughingly.

 

"You know, I can't stop laughing at what you say, or smiling."

 

He chuckled. "Well we  _ are _ supposed to be perfect for each other."

 

"Right.” She agrees laughingly.

 

"I've got to go, finals are coming up and I need to study. Talk to you later?" He asks.

 

"Yeah, talk to you later, Remus." She hangs up, but not without saying "Love you maybe” before doing so.

 

**_~timeskip brought to you by Scarface the mighty goldfish~_ **

 

Remus kept a death grip on his seat as the plane took off, sharpie in his hand in case he got lonely. As soon as the plane was in the air, Remus released his white-knuckled grip on the seat to uncap his sharpie and write on his left arm. **'how long is this big metal death trap supposed to be in the air again?'**

 

**'A few hours, at least. I forgot how long exactly. I'll talk to you if you want'** appeared below his question.

 

**'Fucking hell. I just hope one of the flight attendants give me something to knock me out.'** he wrote on his left palm and looked up to see an elderly woman smiling at what he was doing. He sent her a wave before capping his sharpie to wait for a response.

 

**'Aww sorry but I'll be there when you get off, Remus.'** appears on the back of his right hand along with a heart and the words **'love you'** next to it.

He smiled at the heart as it appears on his skin. **'I love you too. I'm going to try to catch some Z's before we land. See you then'** he wrote on his wrist.

 

**'Okay'** shows up along his right arm along with **'Oh hey, did you bring your vicious pet?**

  
He chuckles.  **'Yes Scarface is coming with me'** he writes below the now familiar handwriting before closing his eyes to try and sleep.


End file.
